How do you support your mental health when negative self talk creeps in?

I often struggle with negative self-talk, especially when I’m challenged by life. Feeling good in my skin is so important to my mental health and that’s why I prioritize working out and eating healthy. I love it, I swear by it, and it’s the cornerstone of our training company. Even though I know that to be true, sometimes I’m not perfect or overloaded and the dark clouds of negativity roll through. So how do I manage my self-talk?

I’ve developed a quiver of skills to help me pierce the dark knight of negativity. My first weapon against negative self-talk is play. Yup, good old fashion play often helps me take care of my inner child and feel better. Video games, soccer, watching sports, walking my puppy Olivia, and a fabulous long list of silly actions make my feel like a little kid. I don’t feel instantly better by doing most of the actions, but taking action is definitely a start to cutting the negative self-talk.

My magic arrow in cutting through negative self-talk is focusing on others. If I’m thinking about others I’m not thinking about myself, and if I’m not thinking about myself then I can’t be mean to myself. It’s not always easy to think about how I can help others when I’m feeling like a failure but if I can change my focus to how my work is making the world a better place I often find my frown turn upside down.

Another skill I’ve cultivated in shutting down negative self-talk is sharing my self-talk with others. Saying the words I’m repeating to myself out-load, help me see how mean and ridiculous I’m being with myself and also gives a friend the chance to shine their loving light on me. My wife and dad my support system. I talk to them the most, and they are also the people who I share my biggest fears and negative storms with. They have helped me through the darkest nights.

Creating my quiver of arrows took time. I’ve done years of therapy, mentorship, and personal improvement workshops working on my self-talk. Therapy changed my life and I highly recommend talking to a professional if you are feeling ongoing negative self-talk. Even with all that work I’ve done, I still have my off days. My hope is that human beings deepen our ability to be compassionate with ourselves and our brothers and sisters. I never know what someone is going through and I can always be a little nicer.

Turning off negative self-talk is challenging, and shouldn’t be done alone. Share it with a friend, professional or the R+D community and remember, you are loved.

With love and passion,

Ray